A Tale of Two Cities

by Mitzi Alvin

It is a little known fact that there was once a sizable number of Jews living on the Arabian Peninsula. They came there around the time of the destruction of the second temple in Jerusalem and, as is the tendency with Jews, they prospered. During their long stay they managed to establish many productive and successful communities. One such place was a town named Yathrib.

Now, it so happened that in year the 622 C.E. a charismatic merchant named Mohammed was expelled from his native Mecca for annoying his relatives. It seems he was a little over-zealous in promoting a new religion, a strong, no-nonsense religion which he called Islam, or as it translates into English, Submission. Since he had announced himself its designated prophet, his enthusiasm for this new-fangled creation was not surprising. Nor did denial by his own deter him. Rather, it spurred him on to take his business elsewhere. So, forthwith he headed for Yathrib. And, because it was a prosperous town, he made up his mind to settle there and give the local population, most of whom were Jews, the benefit of his inspiration.

He invited them to become Muslims (i.e. those who submit). To sweeten the deal, he told them that if they would accept the Islamic persuasion, all Muslims would, in honor of the Jews, pray in the direction of their hallowed city, Jerusalem. It will be, he promised, Islam’s most sacred place. More to the point, Mohammed, never one to put a limit on his visionary prospects, reasoned that if the Jews were to dedicate their sacred city (then in the hands of the Christians) to Islam, it would belong, effectively, to Islam (and to him) forever, proof positive that this new religion was the supreme religion and he the supreme prophet. Henceforth, was his irresistible conclusion, he would be the final prophet, the one who sealed the book, the exemplary man, and everyone would be Muslim (i.e. submissive).

Unfortunately, the Jews had not the least interest in Submission, nor were they about to give up the ancient faith of their fathers. They laughed and politely said, “No, thank you.” Big mistake! Mohammad, a sensitive soul, who could not abide dogs, could never tolerate rejection, or being laughed at, certainly not by Jews. In truth, he didn’t need them (i.e. dogs and Jews). Because it was his practice to relieve passing caravans of their heavy baggage and share the contents with anyone who was willing to convert, he was able to convince the Arabs of the surrounding tribes that adherence to Islam would provide them with unique advantages, not to mention, many splendid opportunities to help the poor. Charity, he insisted, was a pillar of the Faith, especially when it begins at home. Thus, it didn’t take him long to acquire a fervent following. He became quite powerful ?? and rich. And, since he wasn’t at all pleased with the Jewish response (nobody messes with Mohammed), he declared the Jews as enemies and started a war.

The Jews fought valiantly, but, alas, they lost and, being sensible, as is typical of Jews, they waved the white flag and threw themselves upon the vaunted mercy of the victors.

Acting in accordance with his god, Allah, the merciful, the compassionate, Mohammed did not hesitate to put the wretched beggars out of their misery. All the males past puberty were beheaded and the women, along with the rest of the properties, were distributed among the Faithful. As became his generous nature, Mohammed took only his customary one fifth of the booty, and, as was his due (he was the prophet, after all), helped himself to the loveliest Jewess. His attentions, he was sure, would be a welcome consolation to the grieving widow. That very night he communed with her and shortly thereafter he changed the name of Yathrib to Madinat al-nabi, or Medina, city of the prophet.

Flush with success, the former merchant, now The Prophet, returned once again to his native city and promptly showed his family the error of their ways (nobody messes with Mohammed). Whereupon, in recognition of his home town, and to honor the sudden enlightenment of his brethren, he decreed Mecca as Islam’s most sacred place. From that day forward Muslims were to pray with their foreheads bowed down towards Mecca and their backsides sticking up towards Jerusalem, a turnabout which gave the Arabian Peninsula (and the Arabs) a primacy never to be lost. The relatives, reconciled to their prophet and his winning ways, couldn’t have been more pleased. No longer was there any doubt. “God,” they said, “is on Mohammed’s side.” As for Medina, purged of ingrates and the terminally impertinent, it became Islam’s second most sacred place.

In no time at all the Arabian Peninsula was, according to the wishes of Mohammed, completely cleansed of the 600 year presence of the Jews. And the Muslims (not so submissive anymore) set their sights upon Jerusalem ?? and the Christians. Another victory! The ancient capital of the Jews, then a boring, backwater city, was quickly captured, quickly forgotten, and, except for those few occasions when they believed that someone else wanted it (notably the Christians), the disciples of the religion of peace never gave it a second thought. As a way of marking off their territory, they built a mosque over the ruins of the old Jewish temple, a Christian-style dome over the rock that denoted the sacrifice of Ishmael, and, then, promptly declared the site an eternal Muslim possession. (Nobody messes with Mohammad.)

Once the Jihadi, or strivers, had established the supremacy of Islam and its Arab patrimony, and the inferiority of the people of the book, i.e. Jews and Christians, they lost interest in the holy city and, as quickly as they came, they departed, abandoning the region, for all intents and purposes, to the Bedouins and benign neglect, where it languished, a crumbling wasteland, until, centuries later, the Jews began filtering back, back to their ancestral homeland and the city central to their faith.

By now, the Muslims, spent with their exertions, had lapsed into somnolence and didn’t quite realize what was happening. But one day they opened their eyes and saw that Jerusalem was rife with Jews. Jews here. Jews there. Everywhere they looked, Jews. It was demoralizing. Something in this town must be really valuable, they told one another. Why else would the Jews come back?  We’d better get our act together and let them know ?? whatever it is, it’s ours (nobody messes with Mohammed). More to the point, they didn’t want the world to think that the Jews had won. Is it possible, they asked themselves, for the followers of the exemplary man to lose to Jews, the sons of apes and pigs? Could it be that the followers of the supreme religion are losers? The Muslims, to a man, agreed: “Not possible!”

So, they raised their fists, threw back their heads and cried aloud the winning words, “Allahu Akhbar!” (God is great!) or, as Muslims understand it, “God is on our side.” Nothing happened. Again, they shook their fists, threw back their heads and cried aloud, “Allahu Akhbar.” Again, nothing.  But, for the Faithful, Not Being a Loser is a sacred obligation. A true Muslim is always a winner, even when he isn’t. Especially, when he isn’t. And, once again, they cried aloud, this time with all the fury they could muster (a fury not to be sneezed at), “Allahu Akhbar! God is on our side!” And, Mirabile dictu, lo and behold, quicker than you can say 1.5 billion Muslims, Jerusalem had become Islam’s third most sacred place, proof positive (as the world immediately acknowledged) that the site addressed in Jewish prayers for 2,000 years had nothing whatsoever to do with Jews.

At once, Jerusalem was declared a Muslim town. It’s always been a Muslim town the minions of the merciful One decreed, from time immemorial. It’s a fact, they said, which cannot be denied. Only the Faithful are permitted to deny the facts. Only the Faithful can say which facts are factual. And far and wide they spread the word. Islam rules!  They sermonized. They demonized. They issued fatwas (a religious edict not to be ignored), proclaiming to all and sundry: this neighborhood is restricted. No dogs! No Jews! Go back where you came from, cried the righteous. You don’t belong. You never did.  Get out! the Jews were told, in no uncertain terms. (Nobody messes with Mohammed.) But the Jews, in a show of clannish resistance, had other plans. Jerusalem, they insisted, is our eternal capital, and, ever a stubborn race, they wouldn’t budge.

The Muslims tried working up a few pogroms. But the Jews hung on. They tried war. The Jews won. And war again! The Jews kept winning. The Muslims tried intransigence, belligerence, violence and heart-rending pleas for pity (a tactic for which they have a singular gift). All to no avail! The Jews, as is their wont, prospered. The Jews were laughing again. Jerusalem, for all intents and purposes, was Jewish. For Muslims, however, it was a humiliating defeat ?? and depressing. A Muslim losing to a Jew? How can that be? It was worse than a Holocaust. It was the Naqba, or as it translates into English, catastrophe.

But, then, things are never so bad a solution can’t be found. There is, at hand,  something that could work, a way to recuperate the sacred city for everyone. Well, at least a part of it. Here’s the deal: the Muslims give Yathrib (Medina) back to the Jews. Why not? Nothing much happens there. It’s off the beaten path. It’s only number two. Good enough for Jews. Moreover, difficult though it may be, it would signify a gesture of good faith. And Muslims, in emulation of the prophet, like nothing better than returning tit for tat. Think of it, Jews on the Arabian Peninsula again. Who says the age of miracles is over? In recognition of this painful concession, the Jewish State might, just might, consider options in Jerusalem.